Everyone needs direction in life. Instead of relying on others for guidance, you can establish your own values as a personal compass.
By clarifying what truly matters to you, you can navigate your choices more effectively.
Written by Katie Boushall
Reviewed by Daniel Gonzalez
Every day, people make thousands of decisions, often without fully considering their options. Instead of thoughtfully weighing choices, many simply react to their circumstances. If this sounds familiar, there’s a more proactice approach to decision-making that you can adopt. By defining your values, you can create a personal compass to guide your choices.
When you take the initiative to clarify your values, you enhance your psychological independence. You become the architect of your own life, determining the principles that shape your decisions. By proactively aligning your choices with the values that resonate with your vision for life, you empower yourself to make decisions that feel more authentic and truer to who you are.
Researchers Mikiko Oda and Shin-ichi Yoshioka highlight the significance of identifying your own values and making choices based on them. If this concept feels new to you, don’t worry! We’re here to help. In this insight, we’ll explore what it means to choose your values and how to live in alignment with them. Let’s embark on this journey toward greater autonomy and authenticity together!
A psychologically independent person has a clear understanding of their values. But what exactly do we mean by “values”? According to renowned psychotherapist Russ Harris, values represent a person’s deepest desires for how they want to live and conduct themselves in every area of life.
Values are the guiding principles that shape a person’s actions and decisions. They influence how people treat themselves, interact with others, and coexist with the world around them. For example, someone who values flexibility may embrace change at work, proactively adapting to new challenges. However, values extend far beyond the workplace; they can define your approach to health, relationships, career development, education, and more.
Ultimately, your values act as a compass, guiding the quality of your actions and decisions. By identifying and clarifying your values, you can create a more intentional and fulfilling life.
Values are fundamentally about action. Defining your values is just the first step; to make them truly effective, you must actively live by them. For instance, if someone values honesty in their relationships, they need to communicate their true thoughts and feelings about situations. Similarly, if another person values care – both for themselves and others – they must take concrete steps to enhance their own well-being and support those around them.
In other words, once you’ve defined your values, it’s crucial to “walk the talk.” Living in alignment with your values not only strengthens your sense of self but also enriches your relationships and overall life experiences.
Oda, M., & Yoshioka, S.-I. (2021, January 15). Factors Influencing Psychological Independence in Adolescents and Their Relationship to Coaching-based Support from Significant Others. National Library of Medicine . https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7902167/
Harris, R. (2010). A Quick Look At Your Values . ACT Mindfully . https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf
Harris, R. (2022). The Choice Point . In The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living (pp. 12–13). book, Shambhala Publications, Inc.
